what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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CFL

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

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why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Penis in a box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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