A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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It is true that Trump will make America great again.

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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How do you leave a man in suspense...

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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