Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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A shark ate your mom

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

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There was a chicken. It squarked.

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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ert

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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