When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

whats softer than a furry blanket an indian

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

Nicolas Cage

What was the pirate's favorite letter? Many pirates were illiterate and so did not know any letters, much less have a favorite. However, even if this pirate were able to read, it is unlikely that we would be able to find out his favorite letter without asking him, since pirates were primarily in existence two to four centuries ago. In addition, most people don't have a favorite letter, and so a pirate would probably not be an exception.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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