Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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A bar walks into a man... Wait...

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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A man walks into a bra, he is an alcoholic and is destroying his family

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after A-N-A-L

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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What's the deal with brown?

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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