What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

the love boat

What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

why did the chicken cross the road? There was a depletion of its natrual habitat due to deforistation and it was searching for a new home.

Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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