A fat man buys a salad

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Dylan is a person

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

burn baby burn your nanas burning

thumb_up thumb_down -13

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Womens Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than an actual joke on anti-joke.com? Many things. Considering this is only one website among millions on the internet, and it really has no effect on what happens in the world, it really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of life.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops