Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Flab

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +14

if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops