So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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why so serious? because your too serious.

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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