If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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Women's Rights

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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1,984

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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What's big, grey and can't climb trees? A carpark.

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What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops