Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Q: Why did the turtle cross the road? A: Doesn't matter, got hit by car.

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Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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25

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Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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your mom

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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