knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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There's a Korean Black person and a Mexican on a cliff who jumps first? Who Cares

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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What's worse than not receiving presents on Christmas Day? Being forced to consume your own flesh

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

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Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

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Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

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What do people call baby cats in Alabama? Kittens.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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