Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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America

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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knock knock who's there who who who who who what are you a retarded owl

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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