A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did little billy say to susie? "why, hello susie."

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Whos there? ... You got ding dong ditched

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops