If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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I'm banging your sister.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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