Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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How you know when dislextic

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Your momma is so old, it's just irresponsible of her not to have regular doctor appointments. Health should always come first.

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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AIDS

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Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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