Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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Obama

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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Women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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