How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she believes in god. God isn't real.

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whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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This joke is funny

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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boobs.

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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A black man comes home from work.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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