Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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A black teenage girl wants to get a job, unfortunately she is chained to a fence, beaten, and called a dog.

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Ol-ive

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

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One day I was hungry. I ate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Penis.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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brett is a dick

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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