Halo < COD

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

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Whats Obama's last name?

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I love Japan. It's the bomb.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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how long has dibey got left like :)

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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What was big and stiff A 30cm ruler

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Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops