Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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A prostitution ring operates out of a subway. How much does the prostitute with a foot long penis cost? About $300, for a 12 inch penis is very rare and desirable.

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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This is not a joke

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Sheryl Sheryl who? No seriously, it's me, Sheryl.

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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