What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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Q: What's the hardest part about throwing a baby down the stairs? A: My dick.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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