- Anti Joke

roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

The economy.

Women's rights.

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

Moo! I'm a goat!

your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

my mom died because she was morbidly obese

whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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