What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +592

What dosent kill you only makes you injured

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

black chicken. kfc

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ms. Smoot's class

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Having legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how do you save a black man ... u don't

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops