Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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I THINK I SEE BIGFOOT O is yo mom!! -____-

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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