How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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Miley Cyrus.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops