Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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This isn't funny.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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