My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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penus

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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What is harder than Jenga? Being a quadraplegic.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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