Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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That awkward moment when the moment isn't awkward.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Well this is pointless.....

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A man walks into a bar. Dyslexia is not funny. -Tag

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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sexual intercourse.

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

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man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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