what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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A bar walks into a man... Wait...

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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Walking down a cold, lonely, deserted street is a 10 year old who lost her parents. she has with her in plain sight her fathers wallet, so full of cash that it is literally too full. all of a sudden, a black man with a gum jumps out from around the corner. he then proceeds to mug her and shoot her. thanking the man for playing cops with her using finger guns, she goes home with a new coffee mug and a stick of gum. she died three days later from unrelated incidents.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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Lets Go Lakers!

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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