What is green and slow Grass.

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

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What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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An old woman and her grandson arrive at the hospital, only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Jojobas Witness open up

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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