What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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What are jews without the holocaust? Alive

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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i like cats

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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h

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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96

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What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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