Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

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What is worse then dropping the soap? Not being able to pick it back up.

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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