Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Sorry boss

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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american idol

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why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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