Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the car stop To buy drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Praise Paisley

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the orange say to the apple? hi

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than finding a Holocaust in your apple? The worm

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I AM DISSAPOINTED

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops