What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why don't you ask him, o wait he's a chicken, you cant ask him. he is incapeable of speaking.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops