Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

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Why did the man stop playing his computer game? The SWAT busted down his door and quickly pinned him down and arrested him for the murder of 7 families, he was charged for life in prison.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

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What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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i was molested.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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