Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

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One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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the comment about daniel was fron brock

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Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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How do you milk a cow? Make sure the cow is tied with a halter to a sturdy post or held in a stanchion. Clean the teats with soapy water or iodine. Warm, soapy water can help "bring down" the milk. Dry them, but don't rub or irritate the teats. Place a bucket underneath the udder. Better yet, hold it between your legs. This takes practice, but it can be done, easily and comfortably. This position lowers the chances of the cow kicking over an almost-filled pail of milk. Sit or squat in a position that will allow you to move away quickly if the cow becomes uncooperative. Sitting cross-legged on the ground, for example, is not safe. See Warnings below. A common milk stool is fabricated using two 2x4's cut and nailed to form a "T" - cut to fit your behind and make sure it is low enough to afford comfortable access to the underside of the cow. Apply a lubricant such as Vaseline to your hands to keep friction to a minimum. Wrap your hands around two of the four teats. Choose diagonal teats (front left and rear right, for example). Or, try the front teats first, then the back pair. Squeeze the base of the teat, after gently clamping each teat between your extended thumb and first finger, so that the teat fills your palm as you squeeze down. Squeeze down to push out the milk, maintaining your grip on the base of the teat so that the milk doesn't flow back up into the udder. Do not jerk or yank the teats. This motion is performed by sequentially squeezing your fingers from the middle to the pinky to force the milk out. Be gentle yet firm. Keep your eyes peeled for mastitis. Repeat with your other hand. Most people prefer to alternate (right hand, left hand, right hand, etc.) the downward squeezing motions because it takes less effort doing it in alternate steps than all at the same time. Continue until the quarter that you're milking looks deflated. Experienced farmers can feel the udder to know exactly when all the milk has come down. Often even looking at the quarter just milked can tell you if it's been emptied enough or not. Move on to milk the other two teats. If you use the diagonal method, switching sides is not necessary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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