Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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yo Mama so stupid that she took a piece of paper and taped it on the t.v and called it paperview.

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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Know what's funnier than the holocaust? Almost everything i can possibly imagine. The holocaust was a terrible case of mass extermination due solely to naxis racist views

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say it ten times fast: oh

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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Your existance.

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Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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