When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a former pope. Dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

thumb_up thumb_down -24

*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

WEED!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If I just post the same thing someone else posted and say it was mine, I'm gonna be really popular because everyone is too dumb to realize it's not my original work of genius.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops