Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

Gadaffi

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

Bumsniffer

How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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