This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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Albert your flies undone.

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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feces

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chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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