why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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A man walks into a bar. I forgot the rest of the story but the punchline goes something something something something your mom is wwhore.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

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What do you call it when a black man and a Mexican open up a fast-food restaurant together? A joint venture.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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What do you call 10,000 black men with their heads sticking out of the ground? Afro-turf

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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Pen15

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Man 1: Your lifes a joke Man 2: Your talking to yourself Man 1 klled himself Man 2 had cancer

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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