How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

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What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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a brick cheated on another brick, the brick that was cheated on was angry and became disgusted at the brick that cheated. the current brick that was cheated on tryied top kill the other bitch brick, the brick that cheated tried to break up the fight but testicles

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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