Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Why was the teen boy shirtless? He was mauled by tigers.

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Q: What can a black man do that a llama can't? A: Walk

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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