What happens when you choke a smurf? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +796

When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does a black person use to chop a tree down? An Ask.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the square root of 69? 8.3

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than finding a worm in Your apple?? A pile of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -25

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the guy say to the mushroom?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops