What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

An epileptic man attends a rave.

While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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