Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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Whats worse than finding out that your family is dead? finding a worm in your apple

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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Michael Brown

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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Justin Beiber

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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