What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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My parents died!

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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