Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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Why did alfred crap his pants? because he had downs

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Justin Bieber.

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yes... that's the joke

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How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

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A 14 year girl enjoys exploring the sexual regions of her body, whilst having one of her intimate sessions her brother walks into her room. Her brother was a rather sexual 17 year old, who has had sex with several different girls, and is not afraid to try new things. the brother says " get a room to his sister... oh wait" and walks out

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The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops