Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

i am a dino. RAWR.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

thumb_up thumb_down -101

What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops