Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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a man walks into a bar.......ouch

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Patient: Who's there? Doctor: The interupting doctor Patient: The interruptin.... Doctor: You have aids.

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A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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Anyone can post anything.

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What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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