Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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Nicolas Cage

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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