A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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copy me and i will kill you

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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