I'm off to my tank guys!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red violets are blue you have cancer......

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did ya dad eat ya food?? because ya sister

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

- Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -39

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -8

yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what did the black man do for his family? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -153

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops