What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

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What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

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A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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