Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

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knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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What's the difference between erotica and kink? Erotica involves simple arousal; kink usually has an added element of masochism.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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How does a black man get a job? Through an interview.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops