What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

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Praise Paisley

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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What's worse than finding a Holocaust in your apple? The worm

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

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Bryson got a concussion...he died

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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