There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

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Penis!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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Aodhan Hearty

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

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*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Whats white? A fridge

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

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What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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