One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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Nickelback

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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