A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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Keep up the fun Nero!

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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A fat guy at starbucks, waiting for his regular 160lbs breakfest. why is the 10 black kid crying? he's hungry and there is no starbucks in somalia .

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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