Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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You know what's gay?? Lesbians

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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Gadaffi

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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