- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

Snausages.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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