Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I got shot, you laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mama's so stupid that i wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me that she didn't graduate high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how does peploe get around they walk

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +12

That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops