Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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What is it too late to do? Apologize...

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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