One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

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So a black man hails a taxi...

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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