wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

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Left. That one direction...

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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Why did alfred crap his pants? because he had downs

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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SUCK MY NUTS

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Justin Bieber.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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yes... that's the joke

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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