how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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Steven Yuhasz is so homosexual, he has sexual intercourse with other men and enjoys it. <33

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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