What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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What's 6+2? 16

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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