Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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two tomatos walked over the road and..... just kidding tomatos can't walk.

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

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So did you hear what happened to the deaf guy? He didn't either

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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