Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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a man checks his mypsace

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was dead

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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