Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

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A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops