whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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