Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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How many ADD teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? Most likely only one. With advances in modern medicine, adolescents are experiencing large improvements in their abilities to focus on things from schoolwork to lightbulb changing!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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your mamma so fat she is homosexual... hahaha to bad u will get last in her

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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