whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

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Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

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What's worse than eating a piece of elephant shit? Eating two pieces of elephant shit.

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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