a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why couldn't the man rock climb? he didn't have hands

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

OBAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

thumb_up thumb_down

What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down

What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

thumb_up thumb_down -16

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops