Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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fack me!

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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whats hard, its not what you think a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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