What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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KOOKABURRA

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A fat guy at starbucks, waiting for his regular 160lbs breakfest. why is the 10 black kid crying? he's hungry and there is no starbucks in somalia .

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops