Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

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Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

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Why the did black man climb the ladder? To get on the roof of the building to install a satellite dish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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