So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Throughout her entire pregnancy Sheniqua smoked, drank, and did many narcotic drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Why did she lose her baby before coming to term? Because I strangled her to death for being black.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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Kefka > Sephiroth

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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You sick fiend

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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Your mums a penis joke.

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Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops