A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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A man walks into a bar. ouch.

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How would you rule?

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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Once upon a time.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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whats better than 24................. 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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