Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

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What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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