Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -15

THEN WHO WAS FONE?

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

WOMENS RIGHTS

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops