Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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i like pie.

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What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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Wanna hear a joke? WNBA

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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