How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

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September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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Get in the car.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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