What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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69.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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