Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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what do you call a baby rapest jordan gregg

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Absolutely nothing considering millions of people perished and you people think its funny!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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