A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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What is it too late to do? Apologize...

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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