What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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modern love

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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