How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

thumb_up thumb_down -7

your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Janelle fail her math test? Because she didn't study.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Women

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's big and white?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops