Why couldn't little Billy jump? He was dead.

What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

They say there is safety in numbers Tell that to six million jews

Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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