Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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hi anti joke

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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you just read an anti-joke

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. His face bumped into something that was soft, squishy, smooth, and round... It was a balloon. Someone was having a birthday party.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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