What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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you and your family will die tonight

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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if got a joke if fogot it

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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