What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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Poop

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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Obama

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops