What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Person 1: Can I write a good anti-joke? Person 2: No. Person 1: Why nut? Person 2: All the gud onez r taken. ;-; tru...

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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What did the black man say to the white man standing next to him? Hi

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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feminism

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Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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your mum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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