How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

How did the black man get into college? A mop.

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

what is yellow and burns? -a fire

Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

Q: What is black and hangs from a tree? A: Kevin Towers

How does a black man get a job? Through an interview.

69

A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

Why did? Yes

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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