A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a resteraunt and joins his friends. Then he realized he had no friends. ~YN~

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +20

banana

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops