KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops