Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

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Left. That one direction...

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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Why did alfred crap his pants? because he had downs

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops