a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

knock knock who's there me i kill you

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side

whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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