Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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What is the difference in a crow. There is none. Both legs are of equal length.

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WNBA

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What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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Adam gives a new view of roid rage

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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