You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Have you heard the deaf guitarist? He's really good.

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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roses are red, violets are blue. hey.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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why did a bunch of black kids play in a pile of leafs? to have fun :)

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops