A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

It is true that Trump will make America great again.

Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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