What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What did I do last night?work

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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