Terry has ebola

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What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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Whats worse than finding bubba in your house? Getting raped by a rabid racoon..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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