A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? I like Pie. I like Pie who? What do you mean who? Pie isn't a person, it's a thing.

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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What did the mentally retarted student get on his SAT? Drool

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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