How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Bryson got a concussion...he died

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I love boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Boobs are nasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops