A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Why did Pamela Anderson cross the road? To meet me.

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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