Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Knock knock! Why didn't you use the doorbell?

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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What do you get when a white person and a black person make a baby? A possible high functioning member of society.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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