What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Penis-Pump

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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more like nig!

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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