- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

Yo Mama is so fat that she has to wear large clothes.

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

What did the black man say to the asian man? Whats up man!

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops