A baby seal walks into a club.

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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