Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Pop Fiction last words. guess who edition: "Okay okay you win again Batman! Ahahaha hohohoho hehehehe! Wanna hear a new jo... Eh... what are you doing with that gun?" "Why did I not just take a step or two to the side during the five hours and over thirty episodes he kept charging that Kamehameha?" "Bah I cannot die as long as my ego is full! Are these really the ratings on my latest game? H0moerotic? Childish? A sociopath? Oh man..." Moral: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the moralmanBitch! HOAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

thumb_up thumb_down +48

your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why were the African, Asian and Mexican men thrown out of the bar the barman was a racist

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops