Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

are you saying pam, or pan?

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

This statement is false.

what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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