Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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What Did batman say to robin before they got in the car..... Get in the car

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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