An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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Women's rights.

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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I hate blackniggers

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops