Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Lebron Traveled

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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