Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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