Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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