What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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World Of Warcraft

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot? No, you haven't, because it would be historically and culturally incorrect.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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Banana(s)

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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