A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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So one time this woman was learning...

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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123 f*ck off

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Justin Bieber

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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