Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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donald................duck for president

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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