Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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Justin Bieber

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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hi to the world fromthe world

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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Breast cancer.

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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