What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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I <3 Hitler

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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