What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

thumb_up thumb_down

What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What swims in the ocean? Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Gustavo Andrade

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Exactly what?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops