How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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Why did little Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

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So a seal walks into a club...

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yo mama's so fat, she wears a big belt

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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Hey youknow what's funny???? Jokes

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What the kid with no arms get for christmas? A baseball and a glove to go through with his dad

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? Probably a lot of wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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