What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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