What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you say to a black man with AIDS? I hope you get medical help and find a cure for your illness.

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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