What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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3 like an eel

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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