What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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The horse's name was Friday

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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If a tree falls on a woman, and there's no one around to hear it, what was a tree doing in the kitchen?

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

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8===D

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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