Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

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YES! EXACTLY!

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We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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Women's rights

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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