Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did this website get run into the dirt? Because you they let idiots like me post whatever I want. _CamelJocky

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

j.p. is dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -15

sdfrgtyuki

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Because she has down's syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

thumb_up thumb_down

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the mum scream at the boy? Because he was being stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Aodhan Hearty

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Zach Barlow

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops