A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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Mark Wilson

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

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potatoes

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A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops