KNOCK! KNOCK! Who is it? Wood pecker. Wood pecker who? KNOCK! KNOCK!

What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

Women's rights

Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Why did the fisherman go to Alaska? The commercial fishing business is strong there and it was a sound financial decision.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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