I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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