What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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What happened when the teacher told the class to be quite? The class was quite.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

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Boner

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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nbjhfghl

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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