What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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How do u shit With ur ass

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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