How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -43

so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops