Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't little Billy jump? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +183

What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

They say there is safety in numbers Tell that to six million jews

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -29

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops