Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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