An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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11111

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Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

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knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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