Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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the love boat

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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A hayride would be fun.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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charlie sheen

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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whats purple and savage? Barney!

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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dry handjob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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