When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

Why? Why not?

Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

I lost my tractor.

What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

Stop being a centipede

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman