what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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How do u shit With ur ass

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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A man walks into a bar. Dyslexia is not funny. -Tag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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