how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get mowed down by a tractor

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

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Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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