how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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Obama walks into a hospital....

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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