Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

thumb_up thumb_down +1

YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops