What is it too late to do? Apologize...

Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

what do u call a black person a black person dehh

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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