I got shot, you laughed

A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

Your mama's so stupid that i wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me that she didn't graduate high school.

Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

how does peploe get around they walk

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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