Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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