A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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Are you black? Kill yourself.

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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Knock, Knock Why did you just say knock knock?

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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A chinese man walks into a bar, and he see's his friends they are black, mexican, white, and paki. This is their meeting place for their group on racial equality.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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general tso's broccoli

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops