When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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One, two, three, four and five

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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asian, do math

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What's worse than a broke pencil TWO broken pencilz

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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