An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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you and your family will die tonight

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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if got a joke if fogot it

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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