Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Bryson got a concussion...he died

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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I love boobs

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Boobs are nasty!

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How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

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What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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