Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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9

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

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Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

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Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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Why did little Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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