Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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The Female Orgasm

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky how much do you like kids?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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yeah..

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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