"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

A man walks into a resteraunt and joins his friends. Then he realized he had no friends. ~YN~

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

What's funnier than 24? 25

banana

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

It got hit by a rocket.

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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