A fat guy at starbucks, waiting for his regular 160lbs breakfest. why is the 10 black kid crying? he's hungry and there is no starbucks in somalia .

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Butt Sex.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops