Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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This sentance contains three errers

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whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

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I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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A sloth walked into the dentists he was confused

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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