What do you call a black man with mishap-in head scares on the left side of his face and a 3rd degree burns on the right side? a very unfortunate guy.

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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42

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Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

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Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

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What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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bryden is a faggot

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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