Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

What does two plus two equal? 4

what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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