How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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which one does not belong light bulb i have read an agree to the terms of service view terms of service submit

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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No. Yes.

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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