How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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