how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

One below was by me: Walter H

thumb_up thumb_down +7

three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man sat down Then he stood up

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the man with no head say to the women?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops