A homeless man walks into a house He is invited to a lovely lunch and then beaten to death

hi

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

What is greater than God, More evil than the Devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, If you eat it, you will die? Madelyns head

I just can't stand sitting down!

what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

What goes up but never comes down? This dick

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

I hate blackniggers

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

My love life

Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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MOAR??

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