Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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What is a white man in a white shirt called A white man in a white shirt

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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homosexual

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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