what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

There is a black guy, British guy, and a Spanish guy in a room. Wait that'll never happen, black people hate Spanish people.

Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

What's green and has wheels? a green car.

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

whats yellow after cani...nathan

Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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