A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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What's worse than reading a bad joke Realizing it's yours.

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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Beware of orange frogs with black stripes! They are dangerous! On the other hand, if you see a black frog with orange stripes, you're in no danger.

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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