What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

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Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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