what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

hi

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

The queen is killed on sunday there are three suspects the cheif the princess and the butler The princess' said she was getting lunch The cheif said he was making lunch The butler said je was getting the mail So who did it A: the butler they dont diliever mail on sunday

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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