Hi what I lug you

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Your mom is so poor that her boobs are real.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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Obama walks into a hospital....

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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A horse walks into a bar. Animal control them came and got him out, apologizing for the matter.

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I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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