What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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FUCK THE JEWS

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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