- Anti Joke

Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops