what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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CFL

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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I said I hate niiggers

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Horse.

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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