How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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a kid named austin walks into school and gets kicked in the nuts byyy

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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