Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Womens rights

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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