Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Knock knock! Why didn't you use the doorbell?

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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What do you get when a white person and a black person make a baby? A possible high functioning member of society.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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