An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... So he could be hit by a car.

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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I have read the terms and conditions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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