what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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