hi

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The queen is killed on sunday there are three suspects the cheif the princess and the butler The princess' said she was getting lunch The cheif said he was making lunch The butler said je was getting the mail So who did it A: the butler they dont diliever mail on sunday

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops