Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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