Why was the woman crying I kick her in the ass really really really hard... With steal toe boots... That had a spike on them... That was biped in poison... And man did she scream.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

thumb_up thumb_down

Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your mama so old, shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

3.14159365358979323846264

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

thumb_up thumb_down

how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops