What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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tim rafter died no one cared

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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