.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

What do you call a blue chair A black person

how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

whats green and lives in the water

Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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