two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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Goodbye Nero, it is good to see that you are the man that we still admire so much, except better, wiser than we thought you would be, stronger, if broken inside by unhappiness, you cannot change this world into what it could have been, and neither should you take that burden upon your shoulders anymore.

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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A fat man on a moped

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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A woman had a dream. She followed this dream and completed all the goals she had set in life and was excessively happy. Then she woke up and her original suspicions were confirmed...it was a dream.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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