What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist -Tag

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

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banana

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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shut up

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

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What do you call a black man with a well paid job? A sucess and a credit to himself and his family

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

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a Jew had a small nose

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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I HATE EVERYTHING OMG PEOPLE SUCK BOYS SUCK IM TAKING MY RAGE OUT ON THE INTERNET FDJKNDLKXC

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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