what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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the WNBA

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The global news

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-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

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what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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