what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Knock knock Whos there? FUS ROH DAH

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Women's rights

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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Prostitution is bad.......

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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