Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. Knock Knock A. Whose there? Q. how am i supposed to know why don't you answer it and find out you dumb ass! gosh.... people and their common sense these days!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

thumb_up thumb_down +37

shut up iggy

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops