Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Knock Knock, Ow my face

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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Thumbs down if you like this anti-joke!

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

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whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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