I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

thumb_up thumb_down +11

your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

thumb_up thumb_down

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock get lost!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you say to a black man with AIDS? I hope you get medical help and find a cure for your illness.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a person and one is a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops