How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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This message is boring. There is no joke. There is no punchline. You can stop reading now.

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What do I hate? people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

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Q: What do you call a black preist? A: Father

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Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops