How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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My life :(

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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I work at jcpenny

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Fat people

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A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

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women rights

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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