My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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