Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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#IHateHashtags

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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pobody's nerfect

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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the WNBA

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The global news

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-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

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what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops