My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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What did the Rabbit say to the horse? They are both completly differebt species and cannot communicate. Therefore, the rabbit said nothing.

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Why did I get raped

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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