Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

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A blonde and a brunette are out for drinks. The brunette goes home early as she has to be up the next day.

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Knock,knock whose there? The pizza delivery guy the pizza delivery guy who the pizza delivery guy who didnt give you your pizza

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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roses are red violets are blue chickens are white and yellow trees are green and brown my yellow shirt is purple oh shit my dog died

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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What do you cal a black boy with a bike? A thief

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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