What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

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No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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