what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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hi hi stop! no yes no no stop no grr lol i will get you back not if i fool grrrrrrr BOOM BOOMBOTH:GRRR BOOM BOOM lol lol both:grrrr THE END BY STICK SMOKER

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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