A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

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what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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Jersey Shore

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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