What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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