1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Cancer

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The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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I'm hungry.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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My life :(

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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I work at jcpenny

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Fat people

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A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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