What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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The WNBA.

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky how much do you like kids?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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yeah..

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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