What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I don't care

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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