What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

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what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

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roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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