why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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why did i come to this site i was doing a school easy about the anti-apartheid movement

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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What's circular and round A circle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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