- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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What do you call a black guy surrounded by a gang of white guys? I don't know, maybe if you asked him his name you would find out.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

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What happened to the Jew with a boner that ran into a wall? He broke his nose.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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What do you call a black man with a well paid job? A sucess and a credit to himself and his family

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So dont touch it

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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