How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

you know whats better than lemonade? sex

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

u jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does World of Warcraft advertise on Anti-Joke? Because World of Warcraft is funny in anticlimactic and alternative way

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The Female Orgasm

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock, Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How did the black man cross the Atlantic? A: He flew with an airliner, a large fixed-wing aircraft for transporting passengers and cargo.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops