The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

thumb_up thumb_down -17

-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the alpaca sad He just got raped

thumb_up thumb_down +44

question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops