I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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