If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walked into a bar owch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Mormon bishop, a Jewish Rabbi, and a Moslem Imam all died on the same day. They went to hell because they thought their good works would save them.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops