Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

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Toilet Sex, Toilet Sex I Love Toilet Sex!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is a bully. every day 7 ate 6's books and punches him. 6 would go to 9 but today 7 ate 9

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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det va en tjej som va inne på ica och handlade, framme vid kassan la hon fram en banan, en billys pizza, ett litet paket bröd och en mjölk. -är du singel eller? frågar killen i kassan -ja hur visste du det, svarar hon -du e skitful ju

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

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Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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