So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

ass in my face ? no

What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

Kittens.

Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

Click thumb up i will be eternally grateful

What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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