When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

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why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Kellers dad? It was very funny

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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A Banana wrote this...

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops