What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

thumb_up thumb_down

What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

They say there is safety in numbers Tell that to six million jews

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Roses are red violets are blue I have a gassing chamber and you are a jew

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is it too late to do? Apologize...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Strawberries!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats gay ? you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo Momma is not fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Kenny died. The Bastards.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Once upon a time, there was boy. I saw this boy. So I sat on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops