My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance addiction, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life and was apalled by his bad decisions.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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why did the black man die? the man bled out, and doctors did everything they could.

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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Q: How much jizz does a gay guy have? A: a butt load

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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