You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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PENIS

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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hi hi stop! no yes no no stop no grr lol i will get you back not if i fool grrrrrrr BOOM BOOMBOTH:GRRR BOOM BOOM lol lol both:grrrr THE END BY STICK SMOKER

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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