What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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Is maynaise an instrument?

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There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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Canadians

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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YEAH! LIKE RELLEZ! XD Anyway, sure, it depends, you don't get voted as the most pointless man on Horse-head network without working some for it, but if really weird comments impress you, then sure. Honestly though, I might have been flexing my show off muscles a bit more than usual, as in posting more stupid stuff than usual, BUT, that is because when a MAN meets a sexy WOMAN, yet another one than his WIFE, his already boiling testosterone burns with flames... ...And yeah, where where we again? Oh yeah, you acting a bit bimbo, and me going "RELLEZ" just to make you aware... Then added this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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