Why did the leprechaun cross the road? If you still believe in leprechauns, you need to see a doctor.

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

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No because your face is really f***** up.

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Why was the woman crying I kick her in the ass really really really hard... With steal toe boots... That had a spike on them... That was biped in poison... And man did she scream.

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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