What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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your momma eats so much ice cream, you often find yourself without anything sweet to eat late at night when you're hungry

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Yo momma is So Fat? And isn't your cousin Chow Yun Fat? I think I know some of the Fat family. How are they all doing?

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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