What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? So it could hide in a cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No.... See, it works!

What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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