The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you say to Jews at a synagogue? Hitler is coming

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Poopsack Jones

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jason Connor.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two tigers, walking down Oxford St. One turns to the other & says, "Quiet for a Saturday, don't you think?"

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Wow, that was a long opinion for someone that does supposedly not watch Hentai, hey, if you like hentai thats cool, I was about your age when I got really tired of watching sex drawn or not and just you know, went for it real life as they say nowadays. I just happen to like your eyes, I mean you do not like them, but avoid mirrors and I will be the one looking at them. Chobits, yeah, I watched that a looong time ago, then deathnote, and then nothing because I got too old for that stuff, Oh wait, gungrave, that I also watched.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

your a towel.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

thumb_up thumb_down -169

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops