Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

thumb_up thumb_down +72

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

And you honored it I see :P

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the cop pull the black guy over because he was speeding

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops