what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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your mom died.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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Maturity is a virtue.

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Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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anus soup

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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