Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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A baby gets hit by a bus.

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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Why is six afraid of seven. Because seven is a rapist.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Gordon Brown smiles.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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