Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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knock knock who's there me i kill you

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side

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whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

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why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops