What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

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Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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like if your cool

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

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roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

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NO! Nero created the MULTIVERSE During the sixth day... And on the seventh... He did not get any sleep or rest either...¨ SO THE GREAT EXPLOSION OF ENDORPHIN'S WAS CREATED AND IT WAS GOOD! Moral:"Seriously, get lost, only the trio of the Gods Me,Myself, and I, are worthy of this tribulation!

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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