Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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why was the boy crying. Brcause him and his two sisters got raped by a diseased polar bear. by rangler. thumbs up for more.

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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