What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

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69

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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