Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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A guy walks in to a bar, waving a gun around. He acidentally shoots himself in the foot He died from the bloodloss.

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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