What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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Military intelligence.

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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Why did so many white people vote for obama? They strongly believed in what he had to say, and believed he was the right person to lead our country during its troubled times.

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Do you know the muffin man? No

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Q: What is black and hangs from a tree? A: Kevin Towers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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