Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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8=>

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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Today I was reading anti jokes. At first I didn't get it, but then I figured it out and...ah crap, why am I writing this, it's just going to get thumbed down...

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Arron Glass

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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