I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

thumb_up thumb_down +48

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is black but also yellow? A song.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey, Max!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +31

you and your family will die tonight

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

thumb_up thumb_down

what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A woman's opinion

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops