Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

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Left. That one direction...

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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Why did alfred crap his pants? because he had downs

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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