hi im paul!

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What did the man say to the waiter when he was about to tip him? I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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