Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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A jew walks into a bar and asked for 5 shots the bartender replies to him "did you and your wife have a fight" "yeah now shes atheist"

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Knock Knock. Who's there. To. To who. To whom.

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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All these jokes are very entertaining, but if you look closely, Lebron clearly travels. Wheres the call ref what the hell.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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