What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I just lied when I clicked the 'I have read and agree to the Terms of Service' to post this when in fact, I didn't read it at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

thumb_up thumb_down -5

my computer teacher just left the room. teehee JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops