Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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Sarah Palin

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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Hey what time is it. 3:15

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops