A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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