Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What should I name my dog?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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