knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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Ahem. Testicles. That is all.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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what did the tree say to the other tree? Don't leaf me!

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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Help I'm being raped!

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

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Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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