A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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I have read the terms and conditions

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

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Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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