What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

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What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

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what is orange and blue 2 colors

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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68

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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