How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you get when you throw a hand grenade in a French bathroom? Imprisonment up to 15 years in an international detainment facility.

thumb_up thumb_down +537

What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sometimes black people kill other black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS ROAD?!!! cause he was silly

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

69

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops