How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

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A homeless man begged and begged for a dollar to buy something. A man finally gave him his dollar. What did the hobo buy? Nothing he walked into 711 and then got shot.

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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