How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A girl asks a guy are you finish. The guy says no I'm British.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

thumb_up thumb_down

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

thumb_up thumb_down

What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops