Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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whats black. an african american person

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Julian Ha.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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