Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

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I'm Coming

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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