It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

thumb_up thumb_down

I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

thumb_up thumb_down +37

tom pauling

thumb_up thumb_down +13

All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the black man in jail? He stole food from a store due to the fact that his family was very poor and could not afford to fend for themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +15

They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops