Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

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You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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silly rabbit trix are for kids and jews

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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