what do you call a black man on crack? a crackhead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

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HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops