what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What's worse than being arrested? Being arrested twice

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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12 sea cows waddle into a bar... Yea, I bet, you'd like to hear the end of that one.

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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