Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why are some people so good at basketball? Because they are all black.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops