What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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a black man, spanish man, and white man all fall off a building. and as they fall, i wonder: why are you laughing?

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Obama 2012

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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Caca.

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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