Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

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What comes after 69? 70

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Why must you never cross an elephant with a human being? It is impossible anyway.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

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Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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