Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

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a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

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Why did the man fall down? He got shot

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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what happens when you get ben roethlisberger, and a young college student? a very pleasant evening, helping ben cope with all the drama he has been in the past year leading him to the 2011 super bowl against the green bay packers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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