What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

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roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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This is not a joke.

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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