What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

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Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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in the begining... god made some stuff

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

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Jake Bowar

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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