Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

thumb_up thumb_down +22

its all aodhan

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black succeeds

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Male leadership.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Welcome To Facebook

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

thumb_up thumb_down +9

here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops