"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

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wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

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roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops