What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by black guys? -Steve Nash

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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what do you call a black man wearing a makeup? A clown

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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