If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

thumb_up thumb_down +7

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

thumb_up thumb_down +17

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's funny? Nick Sotelo

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A women leaves the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than your dad dying in a car crash? Your mom being in the same car.

thumb_up thumb_down +482

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops