Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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95556

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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1:Nice comeback. 2: If I wanted my cum back, I would get it off your mom's face

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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Teen pregnancy

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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What happens when you stick your hand down the jelly bean jar? The black one steals your watch.

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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