Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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Wade's the father

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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KONY 2012

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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24

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What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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