Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Penis!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Banana wrote this...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

thumb_up thumb_down +27

roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats long and green? weed

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats brown and smells like poo?? Poo

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops