Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock piss off

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats annoying and black? black people

thumb_up thumb_down +125

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did I get raped

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -102

What do you call a dead black person? A corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

World Peace

thumb_up thumb_down +31

69

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops