What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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hey justin

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

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HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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there was a blonde and abrunette and they both jumped off a bridge . who hit the bottom first? the brunette beacuase when the blonde was halfway down she had to walk back up and ask for directions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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