What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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A man walks into a bar, then he leaves and goes home

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well you shouldn't be. I came to tell you your family died in a car crash and you have AIDS.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A police officer.

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What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

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What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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