What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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Q: What's worse than a rainy day? A:

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Im cute hehehee

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Two men drove their car of a cliff. They died.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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