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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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Who invented apple? God

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A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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A Russian Irish and American beat up on a Canadian. the only thing wrong with that is i forgot the , in between the races. but on the good side the Canadian was Justin Bieber

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

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What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

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How many Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Their domestic handiness was not impeded by their warped sense of entitlement and racial superiority.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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