what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Republicans

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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