a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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Anti jokes SUCK!

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

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Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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your momma's so stupid she shot herself

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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-What's the difference between a frog? - it jumps higher.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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a mexican, an asian and a black are all in a car, who's the driver? their friend bill who offered to take them to the upcoming three days grace concert.

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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