Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What did the man say to the waiter when he was about to tip him? I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

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What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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