What color is red paint? Red

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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What's 6+2? 16

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Why did Jane scared of the video about a clown dancing in the room? Because it was her room.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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