How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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What do you call a gay Mexican guy who is deaf, has no arms, no legs, and is bald? Whatever his name is.

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding out you ate half a worm? Getting raped. Whats worse than that? Getting shot in the liver. Whats worse than that? Getting shot in the liver then getting raped.

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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