Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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