A dog walks into a bar. The bartender was just about to leave, so he takes the dog home with him. He makes found dog signs and posts them around the neighborhood. The owner sees one of the signs and retrieves his pet from the bartender, thanking him for finding his dog.

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What is it too late to do? Apologize...

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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say sopha king together then sat funny at the end

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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why was the asian women such a bad driver? she was blind and had no arms

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your friend Jim Oh hello Jim, please come in it is very nice to see you this fine evening.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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