What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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oops

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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How did the dragon get AIDS? He had sex with an HIV positive dragon months prior.

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

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why did haris die...............................................his hair blond? .. u

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why did everyone in the swimming pool move away from the woman... because she had a miscarriage

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What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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