what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

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One below was by me: Walter H

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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