Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Japan called... They need help.

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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