Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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What do a white dog and a black dog have in common? They're both white...except for the black one

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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When I was just a little kid, my daddy lest the house and we all joined him to wherever he wanted to live.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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Chuck Norris is an average human being!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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