What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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Hi. Hello. I live in Iowa. Same. Im your neighbor. Same. I like corn. Same. Im gay. Same. HAHAHAHAHAHA gotcha! No i really am gay and the fact that you thought that was funny saddens me deeply.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Women's Rights...

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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How High is a Chinese man

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Roses are red Violets are blue... No they are not they come in many different colors from cross breeding and different environments.... YOU ARE WRONG

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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Why did the boy take the girls backpack? he has this many hands

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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gabbi nunez ;)

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

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What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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