You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

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A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: Women's rights.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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