You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

Why did the book disappear?

What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "On your face"

A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

girls lacrosse

What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

Fruitcake

What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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