How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

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What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

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What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

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A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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Write your own

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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david what a baghead

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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