There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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So what have you overcome? I mean I know alot about you, but little about your personal deeper self, with that said, you telling me you are some kind of X-men when it comes to genetics?

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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