Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down -16

But who would want to sell us out and why?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So these two girls have a cup .

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

scientology.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

thumb_up thumb_down -40

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I went to school. Then I came home.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three decapitated children walk into a bar..... If you are laughing at this....what the hell is wrong with you?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what's worse than 24? 6 million.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Caroline Kelly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops