Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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How do you baby sit a black child? Entertain him with stimulating games to help with his cognitive growth.

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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Why was the young black boy kicked out of his classroom? Because the manner of his actions were inexcusable.

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Chuck Norris died.

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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