How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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in the begining... god made some stuff

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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Are you from Nebraska? 'Cuz you're the only ten i see.

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I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

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Jake Bowar

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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Knock Knock.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Hey look! Where? Above you, get the rebound.

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What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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