A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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wanna hear a joke? yes

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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