What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

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What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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Hellen Keller

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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