What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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i saw amango it splootered

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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( . Y . )

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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what did the cow say to the chicken Hey im ralston tyler

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What did one gorilla say to the other? Urgh.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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