What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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tim rafter died no one cared

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops