Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

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Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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What's worse than your dad dying in a car crash? Your mom being in the same car.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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what does rhinoceros and tomato have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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Why are people racist? Thats a good question

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There are 500 bricks on an airplane. If you drop one out, how many are left? 499. There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they? Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge. There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge. The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that? The deer is in the fridge. A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it? She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party. She dies anyways. Why? She gets hit in the head with a brick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

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What is the difference between the Xbox, PS3, and the Wii? The Wii is a complete waste of money.

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Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops