Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

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What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a known serial killer.

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Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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Why did the tree fall down? Because no one caught it.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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