who farted i did :]

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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