What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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what do u call a black person by his name

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

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The Labour Party.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Thats what she said

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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