Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

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Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops