Xzibit

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

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What do u call a black guy with a gun? A police officer u racist bastard

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's the difference between erotica and kink? Erotica involves simple arousal; kink usually has an added element of masochism.

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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Military intelligence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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