What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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