What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

i am blue you are red ive got a face look at it look at it i say

Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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