How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Penis-Pump

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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Two families of pedophiles go to the beach. One of the dads lays down to suntan and looks at the other dad. "Hey! Get out of my son!" he exclaims.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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