Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a pair of shoes and gloves

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is worse than torture? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the best way to burn Jews Light them on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops