What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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guess what? bannanas

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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