People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

This is amazing! Visit http://psncodesonlinefree.com - you receive free PSN Card Codes instantly! Everybody uses this now!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Your mom is so old she died

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops