Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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