What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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