Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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God

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Person 1: Can I write a good anti-joke? Person 2: No. Person 1: Why nut? Person 2: All the gud onez r taken. ;-; tru...

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Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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What did the black man say to the white man standing next to him? Hi

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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feminism

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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