How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots his virgin

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

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A black man walks into a bar. No comments were said to him for everyone else was paying attention to their other peers.

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I like touching my boobs

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? No one OK???? BYE, BYE U still there? Yeah Umm . . . ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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