Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

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A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

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What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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roses are red, violets are blue, no one cares, your adopted.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What do you call a black guy surrounded by a gang of white guys? I don't know, maybe if you asked him his name you would find out.

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Obama lin Baden.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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If you are my friend like it!

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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