If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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Q, Where did Rebecca Black go to eat? A. TGI Fridays

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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Q:how many anti jokes does it take to make a person lough A:1

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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Dear Anti Jokes> A black guy walks into a bar...He says hey u Idiot Gimme that Root Beer.. Tony Fast says IDIOT U GET OUTA HERE RIGHT NOW!Black women gets a gun and shoots his son... Tony Fast says im callin the cops on u then they kill alll. And they got hit by a bus. By TobyTurner

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a known serial killer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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