What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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Fox News

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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How did the dragon get AIDS? He had sex with an HIV positive dragon months prior.

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

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what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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sharks

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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