His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Sorry boss

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Why? Because.

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a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

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(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

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What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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