Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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matt is fat

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In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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Knock knock. Come in.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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Ask me if I like pie. Do you like pie? OF COURSE!!!!!

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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