A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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what is orange and blue 2 colors

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Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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girls lacrosse

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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What's the answer to all your problems The answer

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie

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What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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what do you call a black man named mike

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why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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