There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? One, unless she's too short, in which case she may get someone else to do it for her.

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Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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Your mom is so poor that her boobs are real.

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. They both died at the same time in a horrible shipwreck. There were no survivors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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