Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

haha black people :D

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops