You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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troll----> hahaha---->

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Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

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What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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You know George Washington? He died.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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women outside of the kitchen

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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