How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

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Im sorry Dylan Hodge Jamie Stegman

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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this sentence will end in the way you expected.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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squirrels with massive bonerss

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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