A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

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square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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Q. Why did the Chineese man eat a banana? A. He was hungry, and he was craving a banana.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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