Why did the tree fall down? Because no one caught it.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

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Knock knock -Who's there? Orange -I don't get it.

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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