Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is differnt about a boyscout and a jew? the boyscout comes back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

can i have a cookie no diabeto!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

thumb_up thumb_down

A seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

BOOBIES!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is brown and sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops