What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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okay, there was a donkey and a parrot walking at the park. When it was raining the donkey says to parrot hey why is it so hot. Then a person riding bikes come to the parrot and she told her to sit down. Nobody saying hello but she can dance reallly nicely.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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