How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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read this

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Hi Mum!!!!!!!!

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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are u black unlucky

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

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This, is indeed the funniest joke you will ever read, honest! "shows joke on written paper"

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A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

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Hitler. lol, sucks.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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What did the little boy do when he dropped his ice cream? Acted very mature and requested another one from his mother

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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