Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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VITAMIN C!

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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lets bomb africa

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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whats the difference between a cat and a rooster? who the hell cares, all black people should die

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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