How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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Hi, my name is Jake.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

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Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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