Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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