An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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a man checks his mypsace

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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roses are red, violets are violet.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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Freddie Mercurys teeth

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What's worse than being arrested? Being arrested twice

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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