What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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What happened to the blind boy? He went deaf.. helen kellered....

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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Women's Rights Movement

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Dora the explorer went on an adventure. sadly, all of the animals in the forest, including boots the monkey and swiper the fox, kill her as a sacrifice to an unknown God

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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