An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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My tractor broke down.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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