An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn’t have any arms. like your mom

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops