What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Oama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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Women's rights

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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josh simpson has cancer

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why was 6 afraid of 9? cause thats just gross.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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