Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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What is the diffrents between a Mexican and a elevator? one can raise children the other is a mexican!!!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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You remind me of something. What? Summer Why because I'm hot? no because there is no class..

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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