if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me. I heard you do some pretty nasty things with 9. Sincerely, 7

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do Muslims and Jews have in common? Shared humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops