What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

Well that explains a lot, thank you.

Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots his virgin

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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