okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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A nigger looked up his family tree and a gorrila shit in his face

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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poop is very very yummy.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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What's faster than a black man with a TV? Light.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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