Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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How do you beat a black man in a race? You run faster then him.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

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A black man, a mexican, and a christain are on an island. There are also many other people on the island, since all of North America and South America is one giant land mass.

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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What is Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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