Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

A baby seal walks into a club...

What do you call a black man? Jamal

Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

You're so straight!

What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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