They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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jews

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

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A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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