Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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