What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

Light Yagami. I'm a gay light bulb :D

How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

I hate blackniggers

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

My love life

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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