There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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being sober in a bar fight

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

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One below was by me: Walter H

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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