why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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HOLY SHIT ITS AN AIRPANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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Jewish People

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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mikey is cute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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