Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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What was Tiger (from Whinnie the Pooh) looking for in the toilet? Pooh

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

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How does a Black Guy eat chicken. Like anyother human-being.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Your breath smells like onions.

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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