A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than eating a piece of elephant shit? Eating two pieces of elephant shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do round tank toilets do? blow up CC

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops