How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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A man was standing out in the rain and calls out to god saying "smite me god, SMITE ME NOW" and the man was arrested and booked cause a near by neighbor reported on the disturbance. he is now facing charges of disturbing the peace.

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

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Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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when Bonquisha and Letroy had a baby girl what did they name her? Courtney.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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