Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Cancer.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops