What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

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Why? Why not?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops