How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

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What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

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What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

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Women's rights

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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