An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how did the thirteen year old girl get pregnant? she was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Why did John scream when he came in to his bedroom? He stepped on a nail

thumb_up thumb_down -3

*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

VAL SUCKS

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats white? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man with a gun walks into a bar. The police are called and the man was killed quickly.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yo Momma is so ugly she probably doesn't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

thumb_up thumb_down

1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Once upon a time there was a chicken...the chicken married a dog. They dog and the chicken had little baby dog-chickens then the daddy dog killed the mummy chicken by eating her. The baby doggie-chicks saw and tried to run away but the daddy dog ate them too. Moral of the story: Marry someone who can't eat you ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops