How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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so a square said to another square,your rather obtuse oh wait squares cant talk,whats going on. later that day,chuckles realizes he isnt funny -chuckles

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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