a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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Worst joke ever

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Your mom is a whore bitchy virgin

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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fruit salad?

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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