A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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PSP... Is a cat... you can throw against the wall.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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What do you get when you mix a mexican and a frenchman? A person of mixed racial heritage.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

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Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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