What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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You're Adopted.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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The glass is half an hour.

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Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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