a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

Boner

What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

whats up with that? i'm from jersy

Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

This is a joke only for males: Walk into any semi busy public restroom. Stand at the urinal for about 30 seconds to a minute acting as though you cannot find your penis. Make sure you have the attention of at least 2 other urinators and then exclaim quite loudly "I can't find it!" then walk out.

Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

nbjhfghl

what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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