What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's black and buried in my backyard? An African American, I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan

thumb_up thumb_down +18

But who would want to sell us out and why?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

thumb_up thumb_down +9

SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you kill jesus? with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the girl ask for anal? She didn't. She was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Cheese stick

thumb_up thumb_down +1

John Travolta goes to the supermarket..

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops