why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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