Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops