Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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aaaa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Grace Ackerson

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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68 :)

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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