How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why did Larry drop his suitcase? Because he had no arms. A) Knock knock, B) Who's there? A) Not Larry

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Whatsthe difference between a pile of dead babies and a chicken? Chickens don't make me laugh.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops