if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

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whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

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Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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