A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

Listen Erron, what`s wrong? I would have told you to go fuck yourself if it where not for the fact that AzureDragon just left for the cafeteria and is nowhere to be seen.

What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, more people would just make it harder.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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