a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

thumb_up thumb_down -140

Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

If u wanna get high, smoke weed

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between a black person , spook and a porchmoney.... there is none there all stupid stinky n-ag-ger-s

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops