a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops