Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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Peas and Corn. Porn., a deer

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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knock knock

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your sister has 1 boob thats funny

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Womens rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops