Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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What do you do if you really really hate someone? You kill them. HEEE HEEE! by drew and jubie

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What is it worse than a bee sting ? -Two bee stings What 's worse than two bee stings ? -The holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust ? -3 bee stings

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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