Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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Women's Rights

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Patient- Doctor, I am feel intense feeling for 15 year old pop singers!!! Doctor- Oh, sound like youve got Beiber Fever. Patient- Whew. I thought it was something serious Doctor- Its terminal, you have about 5 more days to live.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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69. Yeah- that's my street address.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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GUYS LISTEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT THIS TO BE THE MOST DISLIKED JOKE EVER !!!!!!!! PLEASE :) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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