Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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