What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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There are a black guy and a Mexican in a car, who`s driving? The cops

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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