- Anti Joke

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

sometimes josh roberts sees how many things he can get in his bumhole befor is starts to bleed.

Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

A: Knock Knock B: ...

What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

Caitlyn.

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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