What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII KATE WAS HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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rosie o'donald goes on a diet

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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my wife out of the kitchen

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

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oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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