A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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What's one plus one? two.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

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How do you beat a black man in a race? You run faster then him.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops