If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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Intel Core Computers answer robot flavored phones at middle of june CC

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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