Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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Mmmmmmmmbutch

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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1 Jew XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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