why did the boy die? because he got shot

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

What do you call a loser on a game? A Dirty Hacker

A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

What is it called when a whole bunch of black people run down a hill? A race.

What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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