why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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jews

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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The same girl who got cancer for christmas had a birthday soon after, as a present She got kimo...but it failed

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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