Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -71

How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How much did the Holla Cost?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops