What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Juggling lions and breast feeding.

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The Hardest Final Exam, Test, Quiz! !!! 1. What is the first question? a. True b. False 2. Which of the following is following a witch? a. Broom b. Stick c. Broomstick d. Stickbroom 3.What is the first letter of the alphabet? a. b b. c c. d d. e 4. Which of the following is NOT true? a. True b. False 5. Explain the differences between north and south? a. north is south b. south is north c. south is south b. north is north 6. How many can you a. See? b. Feel? c. Hear? d. Disturbing? 7. What number are we in? a. second b. first c. sixth d. homerun 8. The most faster your car is, what time is it? a. True b. False 9. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? a. chicken b. egg c. all of the above d. none of the above 10. What is the opposite of below? a. below b. above c. all of the above d. none of the above 11. Which is not a letter of the alphabet? a. a b. b c. c d. all of the above 12. If b+c = b+c, then.... a. b+c? b. True? c. needs more improvement 13. What color is the rainbow? a. yellow b. red c. There is no color 14. If the chicken came first, what came second? a. The rooster b. The egg c. The chicken d. The duck 15. How many numbers are in a number? a. True b. False 16. Imagine you are stranded in a deserted island? a. Robinson Carusoe b. Tom Hanks c. The blue lagoon d. non-existing cells 17. Choose the best answer a. opposite b. average c. both a and b are wrong d. all of the above 18. Which of the following is not a sentence? a. The b. ? c. A d. no 19. Can you go faster? a. True b. False c. both a and b are wrong d. both a,b, and c are wrong 20. If 1 + 1 equals 2, what is the fastest car in the world? a. 2+2=4 b. 3 c. 7 d. no answer 21. Please select the wrong answer a. True b. False 22. Why? a. because b. where? c. why? d. Z 23. Almost Done? a. True b. False 24. Roosters don't lay eggs. a. Left? b. Right? c. On which side will the egg fall d. Rooster is standing in a pointed roof 25. A snake is an example of a a. reptile b. snake c. living thing d. car 26. How do you spell entrophy? a. anthrophy b. entrofy c. ontrafie d. entropy 27. A car is driving 45 mph east of L.A. while a train is driving 65 mph west of New York. If the sun is yellow, how many moons does the earth have? a. 1 moon b. 2 moons c. 45 mph d. red 28. True or False. Both a and b are correct? a. True b. False c. both a and b are wrong d. All of the above e. None of the above f. Only a and c are correct G. Actually, both abcdefg are not alphabets 29. Which of the following is a true sentence? a. The End b. The microwave is the end of c. The end of the end d. end then 30. What is an apple? a. It's a bird b. It's a plane c. It's superman d. All of the above 31. If this sentence is not English, what language is it? a. English b. Spanish c. Portuguese d. Neptune 32. In 1998, what former superstar has the capital of what state? a. Michael Bush b. ask the audience c. phone a friend d. 1969 33. If water has the chemical components H2O, what chemical components is a chemical? a. Water b. Fire c. Answer d. Question 34. Max has 4 coins. Jack has 7. Which 2 is false and which is true? a. True b. False 35. Answer this question? a. firefly b. hummingbird c. Seattle d. bees 36. A rabbit and a turtle are racing. They both had a tie. Who won wearing a shirt? a. pants b. rabbit c. chicken d. you lose 37. What comes after A? a. A b. F+ c. A rabbit d. not a question 38. What is a chocolate bar? a. A bar of chocolate bar b. A chocolate of bar c. bartender chocolate d. both b and d are wrong 39. Who is? a. True b. False 40. This question is tricky a. True b. False 41. What is the answer for number 41? a. expensive haircut b. sausage company c. No answer d. There is an answer 42. In mathematics, if you're drinking water and there's a bug in it, would you drink it? a. Yes, but not sure b. No, this is biology c. Not True d. Not False e. All of below F. You're already drinking the water 43. How do you answer this question? a. True b. False 44. Which of the following is an example of an example? a. The mission b. c. All of the answers are not true d. below above 45. If the clock strikes 3 and it’s 9 O’clock, what time is it? a. Alarm b. Doorbell c. Cause and Effect d. Permission 46. How many people does it take? a. 7 people b. 7 lightbulbs c. 7 O’clock d. 7-11 47. A tree falls down in the middle of a forest. Did the tree fall down if nobody was there to see it? a. It will b. It won’t make noise c. It will not d. It cannot make noise 48. Who or what is why and how, when and if it happens? a. The Minister b. where c. Nobody knows d. Sometimes 49. Which of the following does NOT make sense? a. one dollar b. perfume c. nickel d. sight 50. If this question is an answer, what answer is a question? a. Don't take this test again b. I can't believe you read this whole thing c. No way D. Yes way Update: AND YES, ALL THESE QUESTIONS ACTUALLY HAVE ANSWERS. CHOOSE THE "best" ANSWER FOR EVERY QUESTION. 1 following 6 answers Report Abuse Answers Relevance chikka Best Answer: i haven't but im gonna do yours. 1. What is the first question? a. True 2. Which of the following is following a witch? c. Broomstick 3.What is the first letter of the alphabet? a. b 4. Which of the following is NOT true? b. False 5. Explain the differences between north and south? c. south is south 6. How many can you a. See? 7. What number are we in? d. homerun 8. The most faster your car is, what time is it? b. False 9. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? a. chicken 10. What is the opposite of below? b. above 11. Which is not a letter of the alphabet? c. c 12. If b+c = b+c, then.... a. b+c? 13. What color is the rainbow? c. There is no color 14. If the chicken came first, what came second? b. The egg 15. How many numbers are in a number? a. True 16. Imagine you are stranded in a deserted island? b. Tom Hanks 17. Choose the best answer c. both a and b are wrong 18. Which of the following is not a sentence? a. The 19. Can you go faster? d. both a,b, and c are wrong 20. If 1 + 1 equals 2, what is the fastest car in the world? d. no answer 21. Please select the wrong answer b. False 22. Why? a. because 23. Almost Done? b. False 24. Roosters don't lay eggs. d. Rooster is standing in a pointed roof 25. A snake is an example of a a. reptile 26. How do you spell entrophy? a. anthrophy 27. A car is driving 45 mph east of L.A. while a train is driving 65 mph west of New York. If the sun is yellow, how many moons does the earth have? a. 1 moon 28. True or False. Both a and b are correct? a. True 29. Which of the following is a true sentence? a. The End 30. What is an apple? d. All of the above 31. If this sentence is not English, what language is it? d. Neptune 32. In 1998, what former superstar has the capital of what state? a. Michael Bush 33. If water has the chemical components H2O, what chemical components is a chemical? a. Water 34. Max has 4 coins. Jack has 7. Which 2 is false and which is true? a. True 35. Answer this question? d. bees 36. A rabbit and a turtle are racing. They both had a tie. Who won wearing a shirt? b. rabbit 37. What comes after A? d. not a question 38. What is a chocolate bar? a. A bar of chocolate bar 39. Who is? b. False 40. This question is tricky a. True 41. What is the answer for number 41? d. There is an answer 42. In mathematics, if you're drinking water and there's a bug in it, would you drink it? F. You're already drinking the water 43. How do you answer this question? a. True 44. Which of the following is an example of an example? a. The mission 45. If the clock strikes 3 and it’s 9 O’clock, what time is it? d. Permission 46. How many people does it take? a. 7 people 47. A tree falls down in the middle of a forest. Did the tree fall down if nobody was there to see it? a. It will 48. Who or what is why and how, when and if it happens? c. Nobody knows 49. Which of the following does NOT make sense? d. sight 50. If this question is an answer, what answer is a question? b. I can't believe you read this whole thing 51. How many camels does a hump have? a. 2 camels b. 2 humps c. 1 camel d. 1 hump 52. Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? a. Yes, trees can jump b. No, rabbits only hop c. trees don’t jump d. rabbits don’t care 53. Why did the turtle run? a. It was speeding b. It was racing the rabbit c. to get to the other chicken d. turtles can’t run 54. Who invented inventing? a. inventions b. Thomas Edison c. submarine d. Thomas Edison’s submarine 55. Can a man kill a shark with one hand? a. Needs two hands b. All of the above c. No such thing as a man with one shark d. No such thing as a shark with one man 56. Don’t judge a book by its cover. a. rabbits b. polka dots c. camel d. you have no choice 57. How long did you run if you ran a mile? a. 45 miles b. 45 minutes c. 45 mph d. 45 men 58. Open your book to chapter 4. a. True b. False 59. If it’s 9 O’clock in Japan, what time is it in August? a. 6 O’clock b. December c. China d. You have no choice 60. Here’s a tricky question. a. True b. False c. There is no question mark d. All of the above 61. Why is 6 scared of 7? a. 6 + 7 = 8 b. 786 c. eleventeen d. 7-11 62. Is your refrigerator running? a. running for president b. running for mayor c. refrigerators only walk d. you better go catch it 63. What is what? a. which is which b. it’s a noun c. it’s a question d. none of the below 64. What kind of noise does a giraffe make? a. bark bark b. oink oink c. giraffe giraffe d. meow mix 65. Give an example of a car? a. 2 wheels b. drive c. shift key d. not enough selections 66. How ya doin’? a. fine, how are you b. good, thanks c. false d. true 67. What’s red and white and blue all over? a. a flag that blew up b. yellow c. black d. orange is not a fruit 68. ? a. The gardener b The butler c. The waiter d. both b and c are inside 69. What is a U-turn? a. follow directions b. wrong spelling c. signal d. error BONUS: 0. Can you sing a song about a song that sings about singing songs? a. None of the above b. True and False c. Okay d. only songs about songs that talks about singing songs 1. What is your name? a. who wants to know b. none of your business c. none of the above d. two syllables and words in English 2. The correct answer is a? a. wrong b. correct c. melon d. sausage 3. What is the difference between up and down? a. up b. down c. left d. right e. same difference f. different similarities 4. If he and she do the work, can they make it work for him, her, or them? a. Them b. Her c. Him d. Final Answer 5. Can you drink the drink? a. water the water b. plant the plant c. smell the smell d. armpit the armpit

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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come along children

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What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

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25

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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You: A man is riding his motorcycle down a mountain road when he wipes out. When he wakes up he is in a monastery. He says to the monks "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, I'll be happy to pay for the room." The monk says "It's alright, you may stay here the night while you heal." That night, the monk brings the man to a room and says "There is one rule. In the middle of the night, someone will knock on your door three times. Do not answer the door." The man says "Alright," and goes to bed. At 2 A.M. someone knocks on his door. He ignores it and sleeps on, but is obviously curious. The next day the monk says "I think it would be best for you to stay here another night. Your leg is very injured." The man says "Alright," and he spends another night. Before he goes to bed, the monk says "There is one rule. In the middle of the night, someone will knock on your door three times. Do not answer the door." The man says "Alright," and goes to bed. At 2 A.M. there is a knock at the door. This time, he answers to door. There is a monk on the other side. The monk says nothing and turns around. The man follows him and the monk walks to the second floor of the monastery and walks into room, closing the door behind him. The man tries to open the door but finds that it is locked, so he goes back to his room and goes to bed. The next day he asks the monk "What is in that room?" the monk says "I told you not to answer the door," the man says "I was curious. What is in that room." The monk says "I cannot tell you, you would have to become a monk." So the man leaves, but he cannot stop obsessing about that room. Over the next year he loses his job, his wife leaves him and all his friends stop talking to him, because all he can think about is what is behind this door. Exactly one year later he is riding his motorcycle along that same mountain road, and he purposefully wipes out in the same place. When he wakes up he is in a monastery. He says to the monk "I have to know, what is behind that door?" The monk says "I cannot tell you. You would have to become a monk." The man says "Fine." The man goes to leave, but the monk insists he spend the night, as his leg is hurt once again. When he goes to bed, the monk says "There is one rule. In the middle of the night, someone will come and knock on your door. Do not answer it." The man says "Alright," and goes to bed. At 2 A.M. someone knocks on his door. He answers it, and a monk is there. The monk says nothing, turns around and walks away. The man follows the monk. The monk moves up to the second floor of the monastery, and goes into a room. The man tries to slip in behind the man, but is a second too late. He tries to open the door but finds it locked, so he goes downstairs and goes back to bed. The next day he goes to the monk and says "What is in that room?" The monk says "I told you not to answer the door." The man says "I know, but I was curious. What is in the room." The monk says "I cannot tell you, you would have to become the monk." The man says "Fine," and leaves. Over the next year, he commits himself to becoming a monk. He learns all the lessons of the monastery and returns one year later to the monastery. He says to the monk "I have become a monk, and I want to join this monastery. Now, what is behind that door?" The monk brings the man to the room and opens the door, and he cannot believe his eyes. Friend: What was behind the door? You: I cannot tell you. You would have to become a monk. (Thank you Sarah Seguin)

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Will gropes Ebola victims

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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Gale swallows.

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weiner? balls

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they get burned because the oven was left on for to long and they end up being thrown away.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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What did the one man say to the other man? What? I don't know , I wasn't there, that's why I'm asking.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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