Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What did all of the blind children sing on the bus ride? Nothing because they drove off a cliff

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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Light Yagami. I'm a gay light bulb :D

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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I hate blackniggers

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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