Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

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Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

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i was molested.

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

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Wh do you call a Zeebra without black and white stripes? A horse

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4 hours later.

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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ur gey

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What did the monkey say to dog Foreskin

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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