A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A white man wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a black burglar trying to steal his hard earned possessions that he slaved many hours for, being a man who enjoyed living a man of luxury and hates people of foreign nature who steal his things said to him. " get out"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red violets are blue I have a gassing chamber and you are a jew

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down -19

an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

thumb_up thumb_down -12

if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops