roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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A baby gets hit by a bus.

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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Why is six afraid of seven. Because seven is a rapist.

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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Why did the black man not get to go to the party that was filled with all white people? His mother had recently died and so he had proceeded to go to his mother's funeral instead of heading to his white bestfriend's party.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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