so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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the love boat

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Johan showering. . . AWK

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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A hayride would be fun.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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charlie sheen

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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