If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

Read a Book.

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...