When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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The Labour Party.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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How did my grandparents survive the Holocaust? Well for starters, it helps that they weren't Jewish, they didn't live in Europe, and quite frankly, they probably would have supported Hitler because they were right wing pricks.

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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