To you to which this may concern: Nero Septimus, known as Nero7, left me in charge of the order, while I know many do not consider me a worthy leader, I share if but one trait except humanity with Nero7, I could not care less about what you care about me, you WILL follow me if you want, and likewise GTFO if you do not, Nero7 told me that his mistake was allowing too many people follow him half assed, taking advantage of his wisdom and then mock him for the advice that was beyond what you where able to understand... ...It is this that led to the downfall of the old order, all we can do now, is to gather those of you that want to follow me, his chosen successor to the letter, or I will kick your fucking ass out of the Order, because as you do know if you listened: "We do not do mistakes, if we accept that what we are actually making, are experiences, then we have simply learned something new, and if said experience is unpleasant, we accept that we have simply learned how to never experience it again" So I will allow no one to take advantage of me, to laugh behind my back, not without breaking your skull, and allowing you to watch as I shut your family inside your own home, and set fire to it, Treat me well and we can together design our future to our liking, treat me bad, and your future on earth ends where you stand, zero tolerance, so consider your actions well... ...This as I will rather follow my ancestors line alone, than with scum like those of you that react in shock as you read this statement, remember that it was your own goddamn fault that he died, and that while he never told us his true age because he did not know himself, this was because he was beaten so badly as a kid, that he one day lost much of his memory... To the contrary of common belief, he was merely 31 years old according to several tests, and despite many of your comments, his IQ which he never shared because he just as me believes if fucking bullshit, was of 178, a fucking genius, to those of you that are fucking stupid enough to care... ...Those of you that are NOW going "OMG HE WAS TRULY A GENIUS BECAUSE OF A FUCKING NUMBER!" Will NEVER RETURN if you are concerned for your life and the safety of your family. I might not wear an fist made of steel, but as all of those of you that attended to his funeral and read his last will, the order is no longer a place for those that want to follow me half assedly. In other words, those that want to follow me, are from today under my rule, and I need no said prosthetic, because I will not only lead, but also rule with an iron fist. For what you allowed to happen, which cost the life of many of out kin, including the one of our wise young and talented leader, I expect absolutely no one to return to our last stronghold at the hour you can fucking decipher yourself from this statement alone. ...So know that if you respected the greatest leader there where, you will follow me, and that since our order has no room for failure, those that might return and "fail" to follow the new rules, the new order, will either willingly face the consequences which consist of very unpleasant experiences and then leave, or not meet up at all. I need none of those that failed our great leader whose failures led to his death and the death of countless of our own kin, so my goal will be finding new people, this does not mean that those willing to bow down before me and tell me you have learned from your fucking mistakes, will not be given a chance anew. Still ladies and gentlemen formerly of the order of old, know that I am not alone, know that while we are few, we still consist of those that would never dare laugh his back, and that we are powerful enough to grow beyond what the rest of humanity has, and will ever see, And that if you decide to follow us, the council, and me as its leader, then neither you will be alone. We accept mistakes, nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, but accepting failure, and failing to follow us on purpose, will cost you far more, than what you alone can pay with. "If we fall, we rise again wiser and stronger, having learned by our experiences, for what are we, if we keep making those experiences does not matter, what matters is knowing that if we do the same mistakes, we will one day be no more" Nero Septimus,

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Jews

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Juggling lions and breast feeding.

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The Hardest Final Exam, Test, Quiz! !!! 1. What is the first question? a. True b. False 2. Which of the following is following a witch? a. Broom b. Stick c. Broomstick d. Stickbroom 3.What is the first letter of the alphabet? a. b b. c c. d d. e 4. Which of the following is NOT true? a. True b. False 5. Explain the differences between north and south? a. north is south b. south is north c. south is south b. north is north 6. How many can you a. See? b. Feel? c. Hear? d. Disturbing? 7. What number are we in? a. second b. first c. sixth d. homerun 8. The most faster your car is, what time is it? a. True b. False 9. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? a. chicken b. egg c. all of the above d. none of the above 10. What is the opposite of below? a. below b. above c. all of the above d. none of the above 11. Which is not a letter of the alphabet? a. a b. b c. c d. all of the above 12. If b+c = b+c, then.... a. b+c? b. True? c. needs more improvement 13. What color is the rainbow? a. yellow b. red c. There is no color 14. If the chicken came first, what came second? a. The rooster b. The egg c. The chicken d. The duck 15. How many numbers are in a number? a. True b. False 16. Imagine you are stranded in a deserted island? a. Robinson Carusoe b. Tom Hanks c. The blue lagoon d. non-existing cells 17. Choose the best answer a. opposite b. average c. both a and b are wrong d. all of the above 18. Which of the following is not a sentence? a. The b. ? c. A d. no 19. Can you go faster? a. True b. False c. both a and b are wrong d. both a,b, and c are wrong 20. If 1 + 1 equals 2, what is the fastest car in the world? a. 2+2=4 b. 3 c. 7 d. no answer 21. Please select the wrong answer a. True b. False 22. Why? a. because b. where? c. why? d. Z 23. Almost Done? a. True b. False 24. Roosters don't lay eggs. a. Left? b. Right? c. On which side will the egg fall d. Rooster is standing in a pointed roof 25. A snake is an example of a a. reptile b. snake c. living thing d. car 26. How do you spell entrophy? a. anthrophy b. entrofy c. ontrafie d. entropy 27. A car is driving 45 mph east of L.A. while a train is driving 65 mph west of New York. If the sun is yellow, how many moons does the earth have? a. 1 moon b. 2 moons c. 45 mph d. red 28. True or False. Both a and b are correct? a. True b. False c. both a and b are wrong d. All of the above e. None of the above f. Only a and c are correct G. Actually, both abcdefg are not alphabets 29. Which of the following is a true sentence? a. The End b. The microwave is the end of c. The end of the end d. end then 30. What is an apple? a. It's a bird b. It's a plane c. It's superman d. All of the above 31. If this sentence is not English, what language is it? a. English b. Spanish c. Portuguese d. Neptune 32. In 1998, what former superstar has the capital of what state? a. Michael Bush b. ask the audience c. phone a friend d. 1969 33. If water has the chemical components H2O, what chemical components is a chemical? a. Water b. Fire c. Answer d. Question 34. Max has 4 coins. Jack has 7. Which 2 is false and which is true? a. True b. False 35. Answer this question? a. firefly b. hummingbird c. Seattle d. bees 36. A rabbit and a turtle are racing. They both had a tie. Who won wearing a shirt? a. pants b. rabbit c. chicken d. you lose 37. What comes after A? a. A b. F+ c. A rabbit d. not a question 38. What is a chocolate bar? a. A bar of chocolate bar b. A chocolate of bar c. bartender chocolate d. both b and d are wrong 39. Who is? a. True b. False 40. This question is tricky a. True b. False 41. What is the answer for number 41? a. expensive haircut b. sausage company c. No answer d. There is an answer 42. In mathematics, if you're drinking water and there's a bug in it, would you drink it? a. Yes, but not sure b. No, this is biology c. Not True d. Not False e. All of below F. You're already drinking the water 43. How do you answer this question? a. True b. False 44. Which of the following is an example of an example? a. The mission b. c. All of the answers are not true d. below above 45. If the clock strikes 3 and it’s 9 O’clock, what time is it? a. Alarm b. Doorbell c. Cause and Effect d. Permission 46. How many people does it take? a. 7 people b. 7 lightbulbs c. 7 O’clock d. 7-11 47. A tree falls down in the middle of a forest. Did the tree fall down if nobody was there to see it? a. It will b. It won’t make noise c. It will not d. It cannot make noise 48. Who or what is why and how, when and if it happens? a. The Minister b. where c. Nobody knows d. Sometimes 49. Which of the following does NOT make sense? a. one dollar b. perfume c. nickel d. sight 50. If this question is an answer, what answer is a question? a. Don't take this test again b. I can't believe you read this whole thing c. No way D. Yes way Update: AND YES, ALL THESE QUESTIONS ACTUALLY HAVE ANSWERS. CHOOSE THE "best" ANSWER FOR EVERY QUESTION. 1 following 6 answers Report Abuse Answers Relevance chikka Best Answer: i haven't but im gonna do yours. 1. What is the first question? a. True 2. Which of the following is following a witch? c. Broomstick 3.What is the first letter of the alphabet? a. b 4. Which of the following is NOT true? b. False 5. Explain the differences between north and south? c. south is south 6. How many can you a. See? 7. What number are we in? d. homerun 8. The most faster your car is, what time is it? b. False 9. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? a. chicken 10. What is the opposite of below? b. above 11. Which is not a letter of the alphabet? c. c 12. If b+c = b+c, then.... a. b+c? 13. What color is the rainbow? c. There is no color 14. If the chicken came first, what came second? b. The egg 15. How many numbers are in a number? a. True 16. Imagine you are stranded in a deserted island? b. Tom Hanks 17. Choose the best answer c. both a and b are wrong 18. Which of the following is not a sentence? a. The 19. Can you go faster? d. both a,b, and c are wrong 20. If 1 + 1 equals 2, what is the fastest car in the world? d. no answer 21. Please select the wrong answer b. False 22. Why? a. because 23. Almost Done? b. False 24. Roosters don't lay eggs. d. Rooster is standing in a pointed roof 25. A snake is an example of a a. reptile 26. How do you spell entrophy? a. anthrophy 27. A car is driving 45 mph east of L.A. while a train is driving 65 mph west of New York. If the sun is yellow, how many moons does the earth have? a. 1 moon 28. True or False. Both a and b are correct? a. True 29. Which of the following is a true sentence? a. The End 30. What is an apple? d. All of the above 31. If this sentence is not English, what language is it? d. Neptune 32. In 1998, what former superstar has the capital of what state? a. Michael Bush 33. If water has the chemical components H2O, what chemical components is a chemical? a. Water 34. Max has 4 coins. Jack has 7. Which 2 is false and which is true? a. True 35. Answer this question? d. bees 36. A rabbit and a turtle are racing. They both had a tie. Who won wearing a shirt? b. rabbit 37. What comes after A? d. not a question 38. What is a chocolate bar? a. A bar of chocolate bar 39. Who is? b. False 40. This question is tricky a. True 41. What is the answer for number 41? d. There is an answer 42. In mathematics, if you're drinking water and there's a bug in it, would you drink it? F. You're already drinking the water 43. How do you answer this question? a. True 44. Which of the following is an example of an example? a. The mission 45. If the clock strikes 3 and it’s 9 O’clock, what time is it? d. Permission 46. How many people does it take? a. 7 people 47. A tree falls down in the middle of a forest. Did the tree fall down if nobody was there to see it? a. It will 48. Who or what is why and how, when and if it happens? c. Nobody knows 49. Which of the following does NOT make sense? d. sight 50. If this question is an answer, what answer is a question? b. I can't believe you read this whole thing 51. How many camels does a hump have? a. 2 camels b. 2 humps c. 1 camel d. 1 hump 52. Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? a. Yes, trees can jump b. No, rabbits only hop c. trees don’t jump d. rabbits don’t care 53. Why did the turtle run? a. It was speeding b. It was racing the rabbit c. to get to the other chicken d. turtles can’t run 54. Who invented inventing? a. inventions b. Thomas Edison c. submarine d. Thomas Edison’s submarine 55. Can a man kill a shark with one hand? a. Needs two hands b. All of the above c. No such thing as a man with one shark d. No such thing as a shark with one man 56. Don’t judge a book by its cover. a. rabbits b. polka dots c. camel d. you have no choice 57. How long did you run if you ran a mile? a. 45 miles b. 45 minutes c. 45 mph d. 45 men 58. Open your book to chapter 4. a. True b. False 59. If it’s 9 O’clock in Japan, what time is it in August? a. 6 O’clock b. December c. China d. You have no choice 60. Here’s a tricky question. a. True b. False c. There is no question mark d. All of the above 61. Why is 6 scared of 7? a. 6 + 7 = 8 b. 786 c. eleventeen d. 7-11 62. Is your refrigerator running? a. running for president b. running for mayor c. refrigerators only walk d. you better go catch it 63. What is what? a. which is which b. it’s a noun c. it’s a question d. none of the below 64. What kind of noise does a giraffe make? a. bark bark b. oink oink c. giraffe giraffe d. meow mix 65. Give an example of a car? a. 2 wheels b. drive c. shift key d. not enough selections 66. How ya doin’? a. fine, how are you b. good, thanks c. false d. true 67. What’s red and white and blue all over? a. a flag that blew up b. yellow c. black d. orange is not a fruit 68. ? a. The gardener b The butler c. The waiter d. both b and c are inside 69. What is a U-turn? a. follow directions b. wrong spelling c. signal d. error BONUS: 0. Can you sing a song about a song that sings about singing songs? a. None of the above b. True and False c. Okay d. only songs about songs that talks about singing songs 1. What is your name? a. who wants to know b. none of your business c. none of the above d. two syllables and words in English 2. The correct answer is a? a. wrong b. correct c. melon d. sausage 3. What is the difference between up and down? a. up b. down c. left d. right e. same difference f. different similarities 4. If he and she do the work, can they make it work for him, her, or them? a. Them b. Her c. Him d. Final Answer 5. Can you drink the drink? a. water the water b. plant the plant c. smell the smell d. armpit the armpit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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