whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

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9/11

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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God. God.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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there is no such thing as a dumb blonde. cant you tell? I'm a blonde... skipping school.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

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Men's rights.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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