How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

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Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

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What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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Women's rights

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

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69

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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