Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

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-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Why has the suicide in dentists decreased? -Due to the fact that being a dentist makes suicide redundant!

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops