what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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