What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the fish say after he

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +29

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down

GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

thumb_up thumb_down -48

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

It was a beautiful day. Face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops