What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the Black man get after a month's worth of manual labour? A reasonable wage, that was above the national minimum wage standard which states his and everyones right to a certain amount of money

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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