I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

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what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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hi

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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