What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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dog

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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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-What's the difference between a frog? - it jumps higher.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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