A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

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Justin Bieber.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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This is not a joke

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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Hey

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A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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ethan skov ex gf looked like a bull mastifs ring piece

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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