Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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dallen loves penis

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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