What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

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Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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This is not an anti joke.

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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Why was the black man pulled over? He was going 10 miles over the speed limit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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