Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

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What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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