What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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What do you call a black priest? a priest, you racist

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Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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The WNBA

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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