A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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CFL

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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Women's rights.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

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Penis

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Question: How did the little girl die Answer: cancer and AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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