What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

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What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Emily Walker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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