what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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