roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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