A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Anders Lungren is a worthless peice of scrub

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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knock knock!? . . No.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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