Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

guess what? chicken butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did john boner say to the hor that was jewing his laundry want to sex my motherss twat?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

thumb_up thumb_down

Got milk? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy walk into a library. They were getting help from the Asian guy on their math homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops