Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

How do you spell eight? 8

What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

Theres a man with 2 eyes.

Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

Where is the best place to hold a bridal shower? The Kitchen

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

What do you call a building full of black people Jail

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...