what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

thumb_up thumb_down -19

raisin boogers

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

thumb_up thumb_down +10

jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Asian person drove home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ethan's girlfriend is a salg hahahahahahahahahahahaha fucking meff she needs to die

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you spell eight? 8

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What can hitler cook well Steak

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops