whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

what is a bracket? a bracket

Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

a kid named austin walks into school and gets kicked in the nuts byyy

I thought we where okay, you seemed so nice and calm before, are you okay? What happened?

Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

A bartender walks into a bar. It's his shift.

Golf.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...