A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Ask me if I like pie. Do you like pie? OF COURSE!!!!!

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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