so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

thumb_up thumb_down +11

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops