Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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69

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if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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