Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three bars walk into a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the black man cry? He had no rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

ethan skov ex gf looked like a bull mastifs ring piece

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops