What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What hurts people but doesn't? Child Birth. -Dave Papile

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If you don't see any banners here, it doesn't mean they aren't here.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What super hero did they choose to be on the Blue Jays' team? Batman!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Someone told me about this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the fish say? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down -127

What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops