Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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A man walked into a bar. Ow!

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

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Punching a baby

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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