Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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Knock knock Who's there? Your friend Jim Oh hello Jim, please come in it is very nice to see you this fine evening.

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Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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