Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You're so straight!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Women's Rights..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -43

so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops