A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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throbbing slobber

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's better than a nice hot shower on a cold, rainy day? Osama bin Laden rotting away at the bottom of the ocean.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

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My mom caught me masturbating.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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