Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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it's funny because it's funny

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

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Christians

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No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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What do you call a man with a fork stuck in his head? A man with a fork stuck in his head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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