How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What job did the black man apply for?.. Several, its a downward economy.

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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42

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We didnt star the fire ...........

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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