Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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Caca.

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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