Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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Why is Obama black Because his parents were black

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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here kitty kitty

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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