- Anti Joke

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

A cat ran into the road...I hit it

What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

Why did the dog eat poop?

Black, det er geita, banke driten ut av Anders, han griner, dreper ikke, vil du ha telefonen eller? Jeg kommer med den litt senere, skal bare tørke blodet først pønsha han hardt i tryne blør ifra knyttnevene, skal jeg knekke bena på han eller noe? Geita. Ps Pen fitte har du flere bilder av a elle? Hvilket rom?

who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

whats long and black on a black guy slavery

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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