A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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Contrary to popular belief when life hands you lemons you cannot make lemonade. Water and sugar are two other essential ingredients.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she was swallowed whole by a 10 foot scorpion.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Knock knock. Come in. You're under arrest for second degree murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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