What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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My nieghbor is blonde, but she doesnt like corn dogs or anything of that sort because her boyfriend is mexican. Mexcans are banned from eating corn dogs because they illegally crossed the border. Her dog wieghs about 8.9485763 pounds. Her nieghbor also protests corndogs because she cant fit throught her customized door which was 39 feet long. Why was six afraid of seven? because that lady is 700 pounds.

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Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

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I literally died laughing

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops