XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the white guy say to the mexican? mow my lawn asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops