Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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What did the retarded asian dolphin eat for breakfast? A big bowl of shit

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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Hi.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

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How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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