Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

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What Did The Boy With No Arms Or Legs Get For Christmas? Cancer.

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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