What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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Q) what's black and white and red all over? A) a slaughtered zebra.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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