Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

I17. I17. I17. That was my best impression of a Bingo caller.

dat shoe shine tho

Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

womens rights.

politically correct!

Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

25

nick toth

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

69

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...