why do you put a baby in the blender feet first to see its expression

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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What is red and green, red and green, red and green? A frog in a blender.

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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What's worse then ten dead babies being nailed to a tree? Being the one to take them down.

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yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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