Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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roses are red, violets are blue, no one cares, your adopted.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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What time is it? 20:45.

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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