A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

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What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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www.xnxx.com

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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Religion

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when Bonquisha and Letroy had a baby girl what did they name her? Courtney.

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

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An Irishman stays home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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