Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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I was once a hamster.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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So what have you overcome? I mean I know alot about you, but little about your personal deeper self, with that said, you telling me you are some kind of X-men when it comes to genetics?

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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