Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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What do Muslims and Jews have in common? Shared humanity.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

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its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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A white man wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a black burglar trying to steal his hard earned possessions that he slaved many hours for, being a man who enjoyed living a man of luxury and hates people of foreign nature who steal his things said to him. " get out"

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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