What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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