Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

I need to start studying.

Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

"It's a blimp, it's a hot air balloon!" "No wait, it's your mom."

your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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