Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

What has a head but can't see? A penis.

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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