Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops