You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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Leading a hike.. Kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans him up? Bear.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Myspace

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Women Driving.

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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