DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

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How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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Microsoft Windows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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