Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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How are you? Yes

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Hellooooo whos there? Its me fred Fred? A Canadian

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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What was Helen Keller book called Bsnshsiengwkaisg

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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