What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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Hi my name is Bob

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

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okay.....

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why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

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a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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