Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

The adventures of Helen Keller:

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock Who's there? Micheal Jordan. Micheal Jordan who? Your an idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the boy Tell to his friends? Nothing. He has noone.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops