What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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penus

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What did PSY say about his newest song? Probably something in Korean.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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why do you put a baby in the blender feet first to see its expression

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

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What is a white man in a white shirt called A white man in a white shirt

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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