What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

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Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

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Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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