Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' house? No. Neither has he...

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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I asked her where you were.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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