Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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Gun Control

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a man is having trouble getting onto the internet on his home computer. so he he calls a computer technician to help him. \

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how do you save a black guy from drowning. with a life preserver.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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A:why did sam fall of the wing ? B:why ? A:she had no arms. B:... A:knock knock. B: who is there ? A:not sam

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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