Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

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Why was the black man pulled over? He was going 10 miles over the speed limit.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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There's a black guy and a white guy standing in a bar, surprisingly the black guy doesn't die. This isn't a racist joke.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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whats 2+2? math.

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Five guys one rape.

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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