Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

thumb_up thumb_down +1

YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Avery has crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Women don't need an education. The only book they need is a recipe book.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops