why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's a bug's favorite sport? Bug's can't play sports.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

thumb_up thumb_down -35

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do a white dog and a black dog have in common? They're both white...except for the black one

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

thumb_up thumb_down

If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I was just a little kid, my daddy lest the house and we all joined him to wherever he wanted to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

thumb_up thumb_down

Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops