how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

thumb_up thumb_down -6

- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the square root of 69? 8.3

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

thumb_up thumb_down +18

3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the difference between a frog?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock, Knock. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

thumb_up thumb_down

Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops