A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

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the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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