How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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