Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops