- Anti Joke

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

Dissing the bible just 4 lols: Relax chill edition. -First, I have "crossed" the gaza desert ok? It took me seven minutes walking SLOWLY, yet with God as a guide Moses took 40 years? WHY? The desert was generally smaller then! -Eat my body and drink my blood and thy shall live eternally, I admit that eating well such as bread and a bit of wine daily is good for ya, thanks jebus points for you. But is eternity a number in the bible? Or does eating just bread and alcoholic wine truly grant one immortality? Nope sorry impossible. Buuuuuut, if a piece of Jesus brought immortality, then its canibalism, and the bible is meant to be followed to the letter, not symbolically. -Thy shall not steal: Jesus "borrowed" donkeys at random, his peeps asked but isnt that wrong? Jesus answered the lord shall give them a donkey anew. (so give me your car, God shall bring you another, you wont claim your little lord stole and lied huh? -Jesus murdered some tree because it gave him no fruit, you know at wintertime where trees do not bear fruit? Thy shall not kill unless thy are Jesus? -God: Drowned almost all= Worst serial killer ever? -Why do churches "the house of God" need money constantly? Is God that poor? -Only those that hate their mother and father might follow Jesus? While only those that love thieir parents can follow God? Well okay "new" testament is some sort of update like windows I get that... Kinda. .-When Jesus shouted "Father/Lord WHY!" while agonizing on the cross God answered with a lightning bolt? What kinda trucking answer is that? Poor poor Jebus. :( -God makes no mistakes, he just regrets creating humanity his greatest mistake? :( -God had existed forever right? One day he said let there be light, so he spent eternities in total and complete darkness? Aww man! -Why Is Satan the antichrist, he offered Jesus water at the desert, humans crucified tortured and killed him, talk about tossing blame the wrong way. -Humanity created Sin, God had to murder his own son in order to break Sin, do humans have power over God via Sin? -Jesus died in order to prove his immortality, okay, but why all the torture? What did that do? -At one battle the army was led by God holding a sword himself, but they had to retreat once they reached the mountains because the enemy carriages where plated with steel? God lost against steel? Ok Ok... -Jesus said on the cross that he would return, three days later he did, you waiting for his third coming? -The bible was changed by priests for the last time (for now) roughly hundred and fifthy years ago by priests? Why? Priest are to serve God, not to use his power for their own, fuck priest... -God clearly states that one shall not put any God before him, is he admitting that there are others, or that we can believe in others too as long as we dont allow our fait in them to surpass his? -Why is God a jealous God? Why do we follow a dude whose intentions "are shrouded in mystery?" How can THAT be the answer we seek? -Love thy neighbor: Which one? (lol). -Enough for now, except "eat only four legged animals such as the lobster (which has at least six legs, lol)

Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

Yo mama so fat.

roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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