Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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