Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Take this and put it- No.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One day, on a train. 30 white, violently, racist people where crowding a black man minding his own business. An asian person walked through and was kicked, stabbed and stomped on until he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats your budget like? a budget.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey man have you ever seen Stevie Wonders house? ... Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

God is like semen. They're both nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Baseball

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops