What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

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Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops