Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Satan called. I put him on hold.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one.

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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knock! knock! Who's there ...So y do you have a peep whole?

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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