"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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The WNBA

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops