it was all Tagart

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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You're Adopted.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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The glass is half an hour.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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