How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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What did the normal guy say when he went to the Special Olympics? What a bunch of retards.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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I have aids

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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Matty B

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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