What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me. I heard you do some pretty nasty things with 9. Sincerely, 7

Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

knock knock come in

What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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