What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

oh hiya come in

Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

why was the boy sad? because.

Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

Phew... it's gone.

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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