Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

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knock knock WUUUZZZZZUUUUUUUUP!!!!! WUUUUZZZZZUUUUUUUP!!! WUUZZZZUUUUUUUUP!!! WUUZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!! WUUUUUZZZZUU......

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Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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yo mama is so fat she is 1 candy bar away from dieing

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Your mother

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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