12 in general

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Black people

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

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knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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Pineapple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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