What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

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What Do call a dog with an e A doge

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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women's rights

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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