how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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A man walked into a bar. That hurt.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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Whats the difference between a loser and a winner there places

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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