How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +148

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -13

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has two leg, but cant walk? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops