If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Obamacare

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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