Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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OIO

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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