what is worse than a pile of dead babies? there is one alive at the bottom. what is worse than that? it eats its way out.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Why did the man get fired? Because he had cancer

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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being sober in a bar fight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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