What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

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Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

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whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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