Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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A homeless man walks into a house He is invited to a lovely lunch and then beaten to death

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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I like your hair

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

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How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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