Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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women's rights

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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The awkward when you said moment in your head.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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