How did Jane fall off the swing? Jane had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Jane.

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Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Emily Walker.

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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http://www.fotokristall.narod.ru/mov0001.swf

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America

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I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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What did the African say when he had diarrhea? "I wish I had access to clean water and basic amenities."

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Why did the boy cross the road He didnt he got hit by a car

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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