Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I have short term memory loss Hey look thats my bike over there.

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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