why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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