A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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Jews

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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666

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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Try this on someone... go up and say "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start" there response "Ok, knock knock" you say "Who's there?" They are usually dumbfounded and a hilarious awkward silence ensues

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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Gary: How many sides does a triangle have? Juan: 2? Gary: Nope, it's 3, nice try

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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