Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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VITAMIN C!

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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lets bomb africa

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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