What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A chessboard.

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is very bad looking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops