can you touch your toes? no

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

thumb_up thumb_down

milly, milly, milly, cat

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the worst way to find out your married. Hungover

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

thumb_up thumb_down -39

The outside of my house is painted yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what is brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops