A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$bOoBiEs

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Why Because

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

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What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

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gay marriage.

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Black people are the scum of the earth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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