What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +26

One day a man walked into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

thumb_up thumb_down

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops