Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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A retarded man speaks jibberish, because he is retarded

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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doctor , doctor , i feel depressed , we will start you on a course of anti-depressents , vitimins , and daily exercise, make a appointment for next week , and i will referrer you to a phycatrist

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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Gingers.

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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What's worse than an ice cream cone falling over? The Holocaust. What's worse than that? Two ice cream cones falling over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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