See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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women's rights

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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sorry got to poo

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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What do you do if a black man throws a gernade at you? You take the pin out, and throw it back.

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360 NO SCOPE

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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