Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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