Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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I have two hands. Some people dont.

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

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There was an Irishman, an American and a French man standing at a bar. They all ordered drinks and struck up conversation with each other about what they do for a living and their families. They all go home to their partners and have a peaceful nights sleep.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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