What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

an ethopian thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Justin

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris doesn't swim... He never learned

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i am predestal

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what is one black person on the moon? Anser: a problem What is all the black peaple on the moon...... a solution.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops