What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

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YOLO You only like Oreos

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

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My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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