Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Whats black, blue, and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my trunk.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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