A man walks in a bar he talks to the bartender aand he tells him a joke about him and hs friends. how do you find out his name? You killl the bartenders friends and family untill he talks.

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Hearing that joke a million times on this site.

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

Covietz has a large penis

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

What is Worse than the holocaust?

How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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