Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

- Why the black people smell? - To let even the blind person hate them.

What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

69

Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

- Helen Keller

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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