Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

do you currently smoke? i hope not.

What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

What is White over Black? Society.

what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

A horse walks into a barn.

What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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