- Anti Joke

how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

Is this where I type the joke?

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

<=-[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]-=>

Knock Knock.. Who's there? The IRS, you owe $50,000 in back taxes and we're repossessing your home.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because having been born Chick L. Sanders only three years before, his dream (as advertised by his dear old mother, Mrs Sanders (who was suffering from a poor but luckily passing bout of measles)) was to make it in showbiz. He was a poor chick, Chick, growing up in Indianapolis (the chick kicking capital of the world) but he learned how to cope and how to toughen up -- this chick, Chick, kicked when ticked off. After reaching the dear young age of three, this chick (still Chick) headed west to make it to Los Angeles. He arrived in Iowa a couple of years later, having grown stubble and achieved chick puberty. In search of pressing and more immediate desires, he raped a duckling. Although he knew such a deed was morally polarizing, he kept it out of his mind until he received a telegram detailing that his mother (Mrs Sanders) had been killed by another bout of measles that did not pass and proved ultimately fatal. Overcome with grief and regret, he castrated himself and told himself to never again seek pleasures of the flesh. Because of this action, he became forever known as Chick the Dickless. He worked in Des Moines for a time, but knew he had to continue on his journey to achieve his dreams. Crossing the Missouri, he found himself embarrassingly in Kansas, a place he did not want to go and was famed for its stoning of anything castrated. He avoided Topeka and traveled through some hills before getting hit by a twister. Chick the Dickless twisted until Chick clicked that a kick and a lick to the prick would hick him from such a predicament. He eventually landed in New Mexico, on the border of the Rio Grande because he forgot chickens could fly if they were castrated. Chick the Dickless flicked through a prickly dictionary and found he was not in Kansas anymore. He continued his journey west, eventually finding himself in the Copper Canyon. It was blisteringly hot and in the heat he forgot his own last name. He did, however, remember his nickname; Dickless. So he created a new persona under that unforgiving sun, even if the name was nicked from his nickname; Chick Dickless. In the heat, he realized he had no use for his heavy feathers and so tore them off himself, making him look like a skinny prick. Name-nicked Chick Dickless skinny prick shortened the Dickless down to Dick, because syllables waste breath. Name-nicked Chick Dick skinny prick licked his heat-blasted limbs to recover energy, using the memory of his mother and sheer will power to get out of Arizona. He finally arrived in California, just mere miles from Los Angeles. But he eventually came to a road that split him from the City of Angels. Name-nicked Chick Dick (skinny prick, who-licked limbs, tornado hick) was sick of obstacles. But it was the last one... So why did the chicken cross the road? Ask Mr Sanders, you lucky bastard.

What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

newt gingrich

Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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