Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

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what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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