What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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want more?

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops