how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I have short term memory loss Hey look thats my bike over there.

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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what do you call a tall black man with big ears? orangatang

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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What do you call a Mexican without any arms or legs? A bean.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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Whats the difference between a cow and a sheep a cow goes baa and a sheep goes moo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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