Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Zach Barlow

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Who is Dank? A: Billal

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock, Knock ...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black man drown? Because he didn't wait 30 minutes after eating.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops