Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Guess what? SHADAP

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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why did the chicken cross the road Why not

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

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why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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