Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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want to go home? yea

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

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Trashcan!

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What's gay and gay? Joe

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Whats worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Noticing the apple is oversized and finding half of a dead baby.

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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What's Tammie short for? Diabetes claimed both her legs.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops