What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How can you tell which kids belong to Dolly Parton? From the strech marks on their lips :|

thumb_up thumb_down -111

96 there mad at each other instead its 69

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A: Knock knock. B: <>

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Justin bieber is a loser! One Direction all the way baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<3

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops