if you are reading this your wasting your time

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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whats black. an african american person

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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