A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Whose there? Person 1: Frank Person 2: Oh, hey man. Come on in.

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Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

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What's worse than getting a bruise? AIDS.

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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no really what are ur names?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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