Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

What is a black guy's favorite hobby? Stamp collecting.

What did Pikachu tell Ash? "Pikachu."

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

What is worse than getting a virus on your computer? Having your mother die of malaria

Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

what did the farmer do? plant

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...