A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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