Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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