Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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a

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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gay rights

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Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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What is brown and sticky?

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

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What's worse than a spider bite? Two spider bites. What's worse than two spider bites? The fact that 1/3 of people get cancer. What's worse than that? Three spider bites.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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