Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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