Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Okay, yeah red, but you wont ever get to see it because you have gone stale.

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Asians

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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karn chevalier

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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