What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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What's worse than an anti-joke about an anti-joke? The Holocaust

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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A man walked into a bar. That hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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