Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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Whats the difference between cake and dead babies? Cakes make people happy while dead babies are a sad and disturbing sight to see.

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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