What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Justin Beiber is a good singer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's 1+1? 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

69

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

God is real.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops