What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Oh no! My life is ruined!

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A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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