How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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roses are red poo is poo

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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belly button

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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