Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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knock knock whos there .. derp

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

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Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Obama

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

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Pianca going ham

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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Hitler is my role model

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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