knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuase 7 watched his friend die. He slowly went into a depression so deep he went on a murderous rampage.

What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

To momma's missing so many teeth it looks like her tongues in jail

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

why did the girl cry because she was raped

Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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