My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Guess what? Holocaust

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

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what makes reed stop talking? LYRENS SHARPENED PENCIL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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