Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the dog eat for dinner? food.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

thumb_up thumb_down

A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-I thought the lesson had started? -It has

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops