What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Three penguins are at the top of snowy hill. The first penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" The second penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" Finally, the third penguin slides down and hill and yells "RADIO!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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