what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My parents died!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The others a fucking great year!!! San2

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Chuck Norris is dead......

thumb_up thumb_down

Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Girls

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops